You may have noticed that I have not posted much for a while. This is most easily explained by the fact that I have been the primary caregiver of two unschooled offspring for almost 16 years and I just really got to a point where needing a break did not even factor into it…my brain simply ceased to produce thoughts of a complex nature for a few months, my memory quit working, and we just sort of plowed through what we had to do. In other words, I’ve been on autopilot for what feels like several months. I have not even been able to concentrate long enough to read anything longer than a magazine article. I am thinking this is what they mean when they use the term ‘burnout’. The kids are at a point now, though, that they are in for the proverbial pound, because we were in for that penny back when. The kids themselves are great, their friends are great, that part is just fine. I think what I am suffering most from is just the mental fatigue of having to work my schedule around theirs to such a degree that I am still thinking about it enough to feel like I have to do the thinking for four people. Because that is essentially the case, at least until someone else learns to drive. And buys a car.
I did get a garden started this spring, although I am not sure how I managed to, and it hailed twice and knocked my plants back a lot, so it’s going slowly. <Memo to myself, buy floating row covers> -of course, it may not have helped with that giant hail. It was crazy, golf ball sized hail and punched holes in my comfrey, tore almost all the leaves off the peppers, and mashed all my strawberries to pulp. It can be frustrating but I think one of the things I like most about gardening and learning about plant lore in general is that it is a never ending subject. There is always something else to learn. From people and from the plants, the soil, the whole way we are interacting within our ecosystem~the beauty of it takes my breath away. When I think about how some scientists developed a way to make Soylent Green out of people’s poo, I am just so confused and nauseated. We already have a perfectly elegant natural system for reclaiming the poo and getting food from it, it’s called composting. I saw the first humanure compost heap I’ve ever seen yesterday, and unsurprisingly, it looked like composted animal manure. That is something I have wanted to try for a while. It just makes sense to me. I mean, we put other animal’s poo in the garden. We are still animals. Wouldn’t you much rather eat food from plants grown in composted poo than some weird psueudo meat from a laboratory poo vat? I can hardly think about it without feeling the urge to heave so I’m finished with that subject now.